To say Ralph is a renaissance man is a monumental understatement. He simply hasn't found something he can't do. Blessed with equine good looks, some say he shares the same smoldering intensity as David Hasselhoff at the peak of his Knight Rider fame. He also shares David's penchant for overly tight freshly pressed blue jeans. Elongating the leg whilst being virtually snag proof in the event of a fence jumping foot chase, it's a win win all around. Some might say Ralph's short legs are a negative but his low center of gravity means he has never been knocked down by a human, machine or errant rampaging animal. He did once trip over a sleeping badger but the chance of that happening again are slim to none!
No one knows when Ralph was born or even what he is, some have speculated he is part deer, part donkey, with a sprinkling of baboon. What we definitely know, is that he is easy on the eye. Keeping an air of mystery is paramount to Ralph. He once warned a nosy interviewer that his life is like an onion, you could pull back the layers but you would end up crying with smelly hands. What we do know is that Ralph initially became famous as a member of a pop band. He was discovered busking the streets of NYC with his medley of Engelbert Humperdinck songs. He quickly outgrew the band much like Chris Kirkpatrick of NSYNC and parted ways to pursue his solo career. This is where Ralph really started to flourish. A multi instrumentalist with silky smooth dance moves, the world was his oyster, waiting to be shucked. Number one records followed one after the other and numerous world tours. He got to meet the President, the Queen and even Dustin Diamond. But as with all musical artists over time, his star slowly started to fade. He knew it was time to bow out when he was invited on a nostalgia boat cruise called "Washed Up". An ironic title that did nothing to attract any performer left with a shred of dignity.
Nowadays Ralph devotes his time to giving back to the community. He opened up a dance studio to nurture the next generation of talent called Bootloose, obviously inspired by the 80's classic dance movie starring Kevin Bacon. He regularly daydreams about being involved in a game of chicken on two old tractors, with Bonnie Tyler's - Holding Out for a Hero blasting in the background. He is also currently crocheting life sized replicas of the cast of Love Boat and recently opened a badger sanctuary, spurred on by the guilt he felt in regards to the aforementioned tripping incident. Life keeps him busy but he is still in search of the "One". Ralph's story has really only just begun, check back to follow his journey!